Tuesday, 30 October 2012

New Beginnings, fed and up!

Hello, dear Reader,

The page is blank.

I haven't had any experience with intuitive eating since I was a child.

I started secret overeating at about age 11, when life was very difficult.  I can't even put my finger on any particular trauma, but I  remember pulling in breasts that I didn't want, dreading walking past builders, couldn't bear their wolf whistles and 'compliment's such as 'nice tits'...  I felt so wrong and it felt so dirty!

School was hard, our teacher threatened us: if we didn't do well, we'd have to go back to the lowest school form there is in my country (a European country).  In primary school I'd adored my teacher, and she'd trusted me and sometimes let me look after her younger class.  Life was now upside down and not getting better!

After a long 'career' in compulsive overeating, I joined Overeaters 26 years ago.  I've had lots of ups and downs there, weight- and otherwise.

Recovery with the 12 steps is fantastic as far as all other areas of my life are concerned; I find life much easier to deal with, but it hasn't helped my eating long-term, if I'm honest.

That's why I've decided that the page needs to be blank NOW!

I will give Intuitive Eating a chance because I'm so fed up with trying to impose eating regimes on myself that I cannot follow long-term.  I need to find a way that is loving, self-loving!  I've done enough self-hating for several lifetimes!

I'm on a new path, I want to learn about Intuitive Eating.

Please bear with me...

I cannot do this alone.